Smell the coffee

I love opening a new tin of coffee. That smell of fresh coffee, that first whiff is like a little caffeine high for your nose. It kind of loses the smell after a while, like new shoes or a new car, they have that new smell only yot be lost.

Somehow this relates to my lesson for the day. I spoke of giving people a chance, not to judge and make an effort. Well 'said' person is trying to rule the roost and ruffling my feathers a little. You will be proud to know though that I restrained myself (since I can be a bit rash/outspoken) and have decided to think it through and have a clear head. The question now is though, what is the next move. How do you remain true to yourself, remain composed, voice your opinions and be a grown up about it when you just want to jump and stomp like a little kid. I must say though, I am not as bothered by it as I was a few weeks back when work had me a bit stressed. I have found my inner calm (mostly - this could be the antiobiotics talking) and hope to display it.

We had an interesting discussion at school today about South Africa and I may have gotten a bit worked up there. I loved my land but felt I would have a better life, a safer life here. I hated hiding my bag on the floor, knowing that I had to drive with my car windiw just a tad down as it is harder to break a window like that than if it is closed, I hated playing dodgems with the taxis, I hated the politics and maybe I was a coward for leaving and not staying to fight for my country. But living in fear was not pleasant. Living with burglar guards, assuming every noise was a robber, thinking every dog bark was to warn that a criminal was creeping around outside. I am probably more of a scaredy cat than many and just couldn't do it anymore. When Nelson Mandela was released there seemed to be a buzz in the air, a sense of hope and a future of promise. Instead it seems that the poor are getting poorer, jobs are less, the government departments are in disarray. Are the white people to blame for all this? Did Apartheid bring this upon us? Isn't it time to move on already? Sorry, we made a mistake. We are done saying sorry. Now get over it and move on already. It was meant to be the rainbow nation. The African drum still beats in my heart but the fear of Africa is even greater.

Who knows where that came from. I guess I am just astounded at people's behaviour - said person, the South African Government, and even people who just talk a whole lot of garbage and filth and seem to lack that little bit of class and respect for life...